The stars of our next article in the Cats of Fantasy Twitter series — Luna and Lupin!
The Cats
Let’s meet the newest Cats of Fantasy Twitter – Luna and Lupin! Luna (below) and Lupin (above are @NateCheat’s cats. Luna is a black domestic shorthair princess, and Lupin is a Maine coon trash monster. That’s a direct quote. Luna was a Craig’s list acquisition bought on the up and up, while Lupin was found in a shack in New Jersey as a kitten with a litter of other “trash monster” kittens before being given away to loving families.
Luna is described as a spoiled princess, she was very upset about getting a brother, especially Lupin, who’s a God damn maniac, but we’ll get to him shortly. Before that point, Luna was the queen of the household, and there was no one to spoil her luxury time. Now she has to physically toss Lupin fairly routinely to get some peace and quiet.
Luna likes being petted but only on her terms and is so entitled that she won’t even bury her own poop. She actually has Lupin do it for her, which I find pretty hilarious if we’re being honest.
I Eats
Lupin, the trash monster, and shit-burier, was the biggest and fluffiest Maine coon mix of the litter. You can absolutely tell he’s from New Jersey and lived in a shack the first few weeks of his life. Just the other day, he ate a jar of sour cream dip, and anything that’s even semi-edible is fair game for this psychopath.
Some cats, like Lupin, will eat human food because it offers more variety than their cat food and because it tastes good, simple as that. He’s also an attention seeker. (Nate used another term for it, but I’ve already used up my allotment of bad words.) Lupin will do whatever it takes to get attention when he wants it. Including diving head first into his parents’ arms and chests to power-cuddle.
Lupin also demonstrates his feral upbringing in other aspects of his day-to-day life, like how he prefers to sleep in the hamper instead of any cat beds purchased for him. They both enjoy cat TV (watching the squirrel that lives in the walls eat hamburgers, donuts, and other people food outside the window) and enjoy chasing each other around the house at all hours of the night.
Both of these kitty cats enjoy having an audience when they drop heat. Nate relayed to me that their favorite time to make a kitty dump is when Nate or his wife is in the kitchen, almost as if these little monsters think it’s funny to blast a hot crap out while their humans are in the room to suffer through their work. These two are truly a comedy act.
If Luna fits, she sits
Hiding The Evidence
Lupin one time locked himself in the bedroom by a mistake overnight while Nate and his wife were away for the weekend. There was a house sitter checking in, but he was stuck in the bedroom overnight, so he was forced to drop heat in the bedroom instead of the kitchen where his litter box is.
Lupin grabbed some clothes and buried his work even though he didn’t have access to litter to do so! That’s pretty amazing. The cat instinct to bury their poopy still kicked in even without access to litter, dirt, soil, etc. Why is that? And why do they bury their dumps in the first place?
This natural feline instinct is another genetic memory or predisposition that they do without a second thought for many reasons. Chief among these is a desire to keep predators away. By burying their dookie, the smell from it is harder to track, and therefore, it’s harder for predators to pick up their trail.
Another reason why cats do this is to show other cats and animals, humans in the case of domesticated cats, that they are submissive and not a threat to those animals. This act shows other more dominant animals in their cat brains that they are the alpha. All cats see themselves as the subordinates of their human owners.
It may not seem like it, the way they order us around and act like they own the place, but the act of burying their poop is proof positive that we are, in fact, the boss every time they do it. Luna and Lupin welcome Nate into cat society since he is a great cat dad. We wish him luck in this year’s cat league.
Artists’ depiction of Lupin’s feelings on breadsticks
The Draft
Nate anchored his Superflex quarterback lineup with the outstanding Joe Burrow
Offense
Nate has been doing startups like this for some time now, so this was just another complicated and ridiculous MFL draft to add to the list for him. At Superflex quarterback, he made sure to get at least one stud with Joe Burrow (QB) and added Mac Jones (QB) as his other starter with Marcus Mariota (QB) as a backup.
With the powerful tandem of Austin Ekeler (RB) and Javonte Williams (RB) at running back, he grabbed plenty of firepower at that position of scarcity. With Breece Hall (RB) and Devin Singletary (RB) as depth he’s looking pretty solid for backup options as well.
For wide receiver, Nate ended up with AJ Brown (WR) and Adam Thielen (WR) for his big-name options, along with DJ Chark (WR), AJ Green (WR), and Robbie Anderson (WR) for some depth. His tight ends for this tight-end premium league were Mike Gesicki (TE) and Cameron Brate (TE).
Nate has a good mix of star power and depth, especially at running back, which is traditionally the hardest position to have depth at in the modern fantasy era. He will adjust and work the waivers in season and be fine. Onwards to the defensive side of things.
Budda Baker leads Nate’s IDP star power on the defensive side
IDP
With defensive tackle premium being in effect here, Nate went with a solid option in Jonathan Allen (DT) and was also able to take advantage of some true position shenanigans and get JJ Watt (DT) as a defensive tackle in this league setup, very nice indeed.
At defensive end, he was well aware that with true position, there was plenty of depth here, so he waited a bit and went with Sam Hubbard (DE) and Jonathan Greenard (DE) with Brandon Graham (DE) as depth. For those all-important linebackers, which are even more scarce in true position, Nate got Foye Oluokon (LB), Denzel Perryman (LB), David Long (LB), and TJ Edwards (LB).
He also took a shot at Quay Walker (LB) for a depth piece that could have a ton of value if there’s an injury to DeVondre Campbell (LB) or the Packers do end up going with those two linebackers looks they’ve been talking about all offseason. At safety, Nate grabbed Budda Baker (S) and Jessie Bates (S) for a beautiful one-two punch.
In Week 1, Nate got his corner streams in place with J.C. Jackson (CB) against the Raiders. That rematch of last season’s epic “last week of the season” game should feature plenty of points and production for Mr. Jackson. He also grabbed L’Jarius Sneed (CB) against the Chiefs in a beautiful matchup and Desmond King (CB) as depth. Well done all around for his secondary.
Conclusion
Nate has been subconsciously soaking up IDP knowledge, corner streaming tactics, and superflex strategy for well over a decade now. He was able to parlay that skillset into a nice-looking team that will be competitive right out the gate.
Nate is fluent in all things MFL and will be able to navigate waivers easily. He will pay attention and be a tough out each and every week in the cat league. Looking good across the board.
Thanks for reading my Cats of Fantasy Twitter – Luna and Lupin article! There are more to come, as fast as I can get them out. A special thank you to @NateCheat for joining me on this insane journey. Make sure you go check out his work, and we wish him luck in this year’s cat league.
If you missed any of my previous introductions of Twitter cats, you can do so on my author page. Keep an eye out for the next installment in this series! It will be here as soon as I can write it, and Faith can edit it and send it. Until next time!
